Soccer Star extraordinaire
by flameretardant
Summary: Tai's a big soccer-star at his school & Matt's a teen heartthrob who attends the same school. Matt starts raping Tai but Tai can't tell anyone about it 'cus he doesn't want to get labeled a pussy-male-rape-victim 'cus that would hurt his soccer career
1. Chapter 1

I could hear footsteps –coming fast & very purposefully towards me.

I was stupid to have been caught out here by him – practice starts in twenty minutes. I could probably get away from him if I ran – he may have grown taller and stronger than me but I was still the real athlete between the two of us.

But then, he would probably corner me in the locker room after practice & then I'd risk getting caught by one of the guys. Or maybe show up right on the field and sling his arm around my shoulder and lead me away from the safety of my teammates under the somewhat suspicious guise of being old friends. I couldn't afford to try to beat him up in public where he wouldn't be able to … – coach has a very strict policy on violence and I wasn't about to go around telling everyone _why_ I wanted to beat the crap out of him.

I could remember the first time this happened – a Friday afternoon in August nearly 2 years ago much like today. I had just turned 16 & we finished the first game where I was a starting player on the soccer team. Normally, I would've taken a quick shower like the rest of my teammates & gone straight to the Pizza Hut for our usual celebratory meal. But that day, I had gotten extra-enthusiastic in the game & I was crusted over from head to toe with an inch of mud.

_The familiar commotion of the team after a winning game. We were all pretty stoked 'cus this was against Senen Highschool – definitely tough competition. I could hear the whoops and high-fives as the guys changed into their street clothes and got ready to leave._

"_Where's Tai?" I heard Maki's voice – at 18, he was a senior and our captain. Next year, he was going to S University on a soccer scholarship. I made up my mind that that was going to be in 2 years. I was sure I could do it too – everyone in the school knew I was best soccer player. And I certainly wasn't above gloating. _

"_He's taking his sweet-ass time in the showers." Ken's voice replied. I could hear the guys moaning in complaint. _

"_Yo Tai," Daisuke's annoyed voice came from outside my stall. "We gotta get to the food - this isn't your private bathroom you know – you can jack off later." _

_I rolled my eyes at him in the shower even though he wouldn't be able to see it. "If you haven't noticed I'm the star athlete on the team – there's plenty of hot chicks willing to ride my dick. I'm pretty sure you know a lot more about beating yourself off in the shower than I do, loser." I called back, a grin in my voice. But realizing that I was holding the rest of the team up, I added. "You guys go ahead – I'll catch up in 10minutes." _

"_Heh – in 10minutes there won't be any pizza left to eat buddy," Shinji called back as the guys made their way out the door, letting it slam behind them and leaving me alone to soap the grit out of my hair. _

_A few minutes later, when the door opened and I heard lone footsteps in the shower room, I naturally assumed it was one of my teammates. "Forget something?" I asked, not bothering to even stick my head out the shower to check who it was. Hearing no reply, I figured they didn't hear me and worked on soaping up abdomen. I was more than a little shocked when my shower-curtain was pulled open and turned around, feeling more pissed off than embarrassed. _

"_Yo – what's the big id-?" My question was caught in my throat in surprise as I realized who was standing on the other side of the curtain. _

_Yamato Ishida. My ex-digimon teammate. A guy I hadn't had a real conversation with in 3 years and knew next to nothing about anymore – other than the fact that he was in the upcoming Teenage Wolves band. _

"_M-matt?" I asked, my eyes widening and a bewildered look on my face as I looked into his hard blue eyes. "W-what're you doing here?" I frowned. I hadn't noticed him at the game – not that I had been looking out for him. But still – it was kind of hard to miss his shiny blond head among the sea of browns and blacks. _

_Matt had grown tall over the last couple of years since our friendship had fizzled out. And broad-framed too - _

_He didn't reply – his eyes running up and down my frame as I stood under the lukewarm stream of water, completely naked in front of his eyes. I'm usually fine with being seen naked – being on an athletic team usually took care of any shyness you had about your body. All the same, there was something in his face that made me incredibly uncomfortable and I found myself mindlessly wrapping my arms around myself covering up as best as I could. _

_My discomfort earned a smirk and I stood petrified in dumbfounded silence as he pulled the t-shirt off himself, revealing his muscular chest. He had thrown the shirt aside and was undoing the zippers on his jeans by the time I snapped out my haze. _

_**Oh my god.**__ What was he doing? Was he going to strip himself naked while I stood completely exposed in front of him?_

_My hand reached for the shower curtain, trying to pull it closed before this strangeness went any further. But it seemed Matt had other ideas – his expressionless face turned enraged and he gripped my wrist in his as he shoved me hard against the back wall of the shower, before following me inside – pressing me up between the hard wall and his solid frame. I fought back against him as hard as I could, cussing loudly and hitting any surface of his body I could reach – by the time it was over, we were both winded & bruised but he was the distinct winner. _

"_W-what are you doing, you bastard?" I hissed, trying to free my wrists from his grip, my face flushed & my chest heaving from the effort of trying to wrestle him off. He had managed to pin me pretty good – using his 4' height advantage to force my wrists high above my head with one of his large hands. Even worse, he was standing in between my legs – leaving them free but essentially useless to kick him off pressed as close as he was. I was acutely aware that I was completely naked and he had nothing on but a soaked, unbuttoned pair of jeans. I could feel every hard muscle on his 6'0 pale frame holding me down. Most disturbingly of all, I could tell he was aroused – his rock hard dick poking through the front of his pants and nestled comfortably against my inner thigh._

_His smirk was triumphant and possessive as he licked the side of his bloodied lower lip, those blue eyes staring tauntingly into my own upturned dark face. I was incredibly angry and refused to look away or close my eyes as he lowered his mouth to within an inch of mine. "Really Tai, I thought it should be obvious by now what I'm doing." He punched his hips hard against me, managing to free his erection completely and rubbing it tauntingly against my shaking thigh. "Thank god you're good at sports 'cus you obviously haven't got a lot going on in that pretty little head." His eyes darkened. "And it certainly is a pretty one…," he growled as his eyes shamelessly roamed over my features before closing the distance between our mouths._

_The kiss was long and hard, his tongue immediately forcing its way inside me and his hand hard on my jaw, preventing me from biting down on him – it drew more than a few involuntary moans and left me panting and quivering in his arms. I had been so shocked and disturbed by the kiss that I hadn't noticed how nicely he had aligned the head of his penis against my entrance while he violated my mouth. But I realized in a startled panic as I felt that heat against the most private part of my body, my useless struggle renewed in his arms. _

_He merely smirked at my desperation, that godforsaken smirk on his lips as he leaned close to my ears. "I guess I'll have to spell it out for you then." He murmured huskily, his hips stilling and the tip of his dick right against my pucker._

"_Fuck you," I spat in his face. No matter what he did, I would not beg or cry._

_His face broke into the handsome grin that had all the girls in the school falling at his feet. "Oh no… I'm going FUCK you." With that I could feel nothing more than the raw ache in my throat from my strangled scream and the searing pain in my back as he forced his cock into my virgin passage with one long, rough thrust of his hips. _

_It seemed like it went on forever – at some point I remember a blissful numbness settle into my body and I was hardly aware of the situation. Instead, I fixed my gaze on a wall far behind his back & ignored what he was doing to me as best as I could. He came in me once and then toppled us down to the shower floor so that I was laying underneath him as he raped me a second time. _

_When he was finally done, he collapsed on top of me, breathing hard and biting roughly down on my wet neck. I didn't look at him though I could feel those possessive eyes running over me; ignoring him as he swore and leaned down to kiss me again, hard and fast before he was pulling himself out of my violated body. He stood up and zipped up his pants, not even bothering to wash my blood and his semen from his dick. _

_In some far corner of my mind, I could hear him pulling on his t-shirt and walking out of the locker-room. But I stayed slumped against the shower wall underneath the now freezing stream of water. _

_By the time I came to my senses, there was no more sunlight streaming in from the high window – my body was shivering violently in the cold but my time underneath the water had thankfully washed most of the traces of him from my thighs. I could still feel some of his vile cum inside me – I could not be bothered to wash it out just now. Right now, my single-minded focus was on getting back home._

_Wincing and clumsy, I crawled out of the shower stall and made my way to my clothes. I pulled on my basketball shorts and t-shirt and then hauled myself up from the floor – my knees buckled underneath me and I was immediately sent sprawling back on the floor but I was determined now to get moving. After another fall, I was finally able to get back on my feet. _

_My mind was blank as I hobbled back home – I did my best to hide my limp, didn't bother to greet my family and growled for them to stay away from me as I went straight into my bedroom. Mercifully, they stayed away from me although I could hear Mom hovering worriedly outside the door. _

_I lay in my bed, trying to grasp the situation. Had it really happened? Had Yamato Ishida, my one-time childhood bestfriend really raped me in our school locker-room? The proof was etched deep inside my body so I could not deny it. But I instinctively knew I could not tell anyone about it either – not if I wanted to remain upcoming popular soccer-star with a bright future instead of a male rape-victim, pitied by everyone. _

_Weak. Incapable of defending myself. Forget star-athlete - I was not even a man, no better than a defenseless woman. I forced the tears back down my throat. I would __**not**__ lose any more of my pride by shedding any tears over this. _

_But I could not stop my mind from replaying the incident over and over again. What did I do wrong? Could I have avoided this somehow? I hated myself for every pained sound he had managed to draw from my lips. Worst of the memories was when I saw his face floating in front of him – those blue eyes glowing in his lust and satisfaction as he thrust into me again and again, ripping away the innocence I didn't realize I had. _

_Those eyes were the last things I saw before exhaustion claimed me._

I shook the memory from my head – I hated remembering that day. Thankfully, I didn't think about it too often anymore. For the first week after it had happened though, I could think of nothing else. I'm sure I would've fixated on it a lot longer except were it not for the events that followed the next week when I returned to school.

_I had the barest of a limp right now – 4 days healing had done me some major good. Faking a serious flu, I managed to hide away from my family most of the weekend & gotten out of class the first 2 days. But now, I was sitting at desk against the very back wall of the classroom, tensely watching the doorway for any hint of blond hair._

"_Earth to Tai," a slim hand waved in front of me. "Come in Tai." _

_My eyes snapped to Ken – standing in front of me with an exasperated look on his face. Our school housed grades 7-12 and even though Ken was supposed to be in 7__th__ grade Math, he was taking 10__th__ grade Algebra with me. At the moment, I was far from appreciating his genius – he would probably be able to figure out what had happened if I kept my head-case act up. And that was last thing I needed. _

_I slapped an easy grin on my lips. "Yo Ken – what up?" I asked, slapping my hand up for a high-five, hoping it wasn't shaking violently enough to be noticable. _

"_Why didn't you show up for Pizza, Tai-boy?" The voice on my left managed to make me jump in my seat and I whipped my head around, my eyes narrowed and furtive like a caged animal, my fists balled up at my side. _

_Seeing it was only Shinji, I tried to calm my heart down as much as I could. At the moment, I could think of nothing other than to get ready for a fight so coming up with an answer was almost impossible. "Met a girl on the way," I said, trying to keep my smile intact. _

_They rolled their eyes and started talking about the parties the last weekend. I did my best to keep my attention on my teammates and the conversation although I couldn't help my gaze darting around whenever I saw any movement around me. __**He**__ was not in my class but that did little to make me feel better. The only thing I was thankful for was the solid wall against my back where I knew an attack could not come from._

_The rest of the week, I was a complete basket-case – I saw him a couple of times in school but he did not meet my eyes. In fact, he seemed to be as intent on avoiding me as I was on avoiding him. That was a small mercy to be thankful for – I had no doubts in my mind that I would eventually beat the shit out of the bastard for doing what he did. But I was not ready to face him just yet._

_By the next Monday, I had managed to pull myself back into the semblance of the human being I had been before ... before… I shook my head, trying to force the images out of my brain. Fear had become secondary and now, I was fueled by rage alone. And that rage drove the need for revenge._

_I kept my ears open – listening intently whenever Matt's name came up in conversation. Come lunchtime Tuesday, I had managed to figure out by eavesdropping on the cheerleaders that he would be practicing the guitar in the music room – completely alone for the next hour._

_Adrenaline rushed through my body as I walked the deserted hallway of the art-department – I didn't even care that fighting in school would get me kicked off the soccer team. Nothing mattered except the boiling hatred running through my blood for Yamato Ishida. I was wearing my soccer cleats and carrying a baseball bat – this time, I would not be the helpless, shivering little victim, standing naked in the shower stall for him to do whatever he wanted to my body. This time, he would be the one lying broken on the floor by the time I was done. _

_I could hear the faint strains of the guitar coming from the classroom- my heart pounding against my chest as I stood in front of the doorway. Checking furtively to make sure the hallway was empty, I opened the door quietly and stepped inside, silently closing the door behind me._

_Inside, the guitar was incredibly loud – Matt's back was turned to me as he belted out some ridiculous song that had all the teen girls crying in ecstasy._

"_It's a good thing this room is fairly sound-proof," I growled loud enough for him to hear. "No one is going to hear and come to your rescue when I rearrange your face."_

_Realizing he had been interrupted, Matt turned around to face me – an unsurprised look on his face as those blue eyes landed on me. "You've got major balls," he said, walking towards me. "Didn't expect this little confrontation until atleast the end of the week." _

_My eyes narrowed and I held up the baseball bat in front of me. "I'm going to break your shins today, bastard." I promised as I walked towards him as well. _

"_I deserve it," he said quietly, looking away from my eyes. Then he plastered a wide grin on his face and added, "But that doesn't mean I'm going to sit around and let you." _

_By now, we were standing face to face, staring hard at each other. He dodged a swing from my bat - & then another and another. We were circling each other, looking for openings & finding none – finally, a few minutes later my patience ran out. Being armed, I had the obvious advantage and I charged him with a roar – intent on landing a blow straight to his brainless skull. _

_I did not expect him to be able to duck his tall frame low and quick enough to land a square punch straight to my gut. But that is exactly what he did – the bat fell out of my hand as I doubled over, trying to catch my breath. I had a moment's rest as he stooped down to grab the bat and hurl it far away from either of us – by the time I had straightened up, he was circling me again, dancing closer and closer but not taking any swings. I was more patient the second time around but finally, I saw him leave his left side unguarded and launched myself at him again. _

_The situation quickly descended into another brawl – truthfully, it was more a situation of me trying tear him apart while he blocked me without trying to attack back. But at the moment, I didn't care, focused as I was on destroying him. My cleats were doing some major damage to his frame. I could see little pinpricks of blood float up beneath his white t-shirt as I landed a solid blow to his abdomen and I smiled in satisfaction as he fell to the floor._

"_I think I'll kick in one of your ribs today," I hissed triumphantly. "Maybe damage one of those lungs you need so much for your career." I approached him intent on doing just that when his leg flew out of nowhere and threw me off my own feet. I landed on the floor with a heavy grunt, my breath knocked out of me. _

_By the time I managed to regroup moments later, Matt was already on top of me again in between my legs, once again pinning me down with his hard body, the triumphant smirk back on his face as he tied my wrists up above my head with his belt. _

"_Nice try, sweetheart." He said, smiling easily at me despite the hurt I had just put him through – then he leaned down lower to whisper softly into my ear. "And now that you've played out that little scenario, we can get down to the __**real**__ fun." To prove what he meant, he rubbed the bulge in his jeans against me – letting me know that he was already aroused. _

_My eyes widened and I started to struggle violently underneath him. Endless screams of 'no' left my throat. Not again! He could not… I would not let him! My thrashing made it hard for him to get my shorts off me – I even managed to land a few side blows against his chest with my cleats. But eventually, his strength won out and he managed to pull off my bottoms, leaving my legs & private areas vulnerably exposed. He unzipped his own pants and pushed them off far enough so he would not be hindered by them as he raped me. _

_As he settled in between my legs, I could feel the tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. Exhausted as I was, I did not even have the strength to stop them from flowing. I looked up at him, my brown eyes wet and glistening – my lips quivering with fright. "Please… please… don't do this…," I didn't care about my pride anymore. All I wanted was for him not to rape me again. _

_But I could tell that my pleas had no effect on him – his eyes were swimming in their desire for me. "You have to accept it, Tai," he said as he kissed me again. "This is going to happen. But I was too harsh on you last time – I hurt your beautiful body." He reached behind him into his jean pocket and pulled out a tube of lotion – clumsily unscrewing the lid and spreading some onto his fingers. "I want you to give you as much pleasure as you give me," he murmured against my lips, distracting me again as he fingers reached deep inside my body and prepared me for what was to come – his delicate fingers were nowhere near as painful as his thick length had been inside me but it was still uncomfortable. With the same clumsy hand, he spread some lotion on his erection before he lined himself against my passage again. _

_The thrust inside tore a scream from my lips and a groan from his – his lips quickly found mine as his hand reached in between us to tug my erection in the same rhythm that he was fucking me. "I want you to writhe in ecstasy underneath me," he gasped against my lips when he pulled away from my mouth to take a quick breath. _

_And as much as I hated it, I could feel a warmth start to build in my core – usually a wonderful feeling when I was fucking a girl. But I hated that feeling right now – most hated though was the new pleasure from the thick heat inside rubbed against my inner walls. Suddenly, I felt the head of the cock lodge against something deep inside me – it was stronger than any pleasure I had felt before and I couldn't help the moan of ecstasy leave my throat. My legs automatically wound around his waist, trying to pull him in deeper so he rammed into that spot again and again._

_I opened my eyes to see Matt smiling on top of me – he didn't say anything but simply complied with my shameful, silent wish for him to fuck me harder. The tears flowed out of my eyes as the strongest orgasm I had ever felt ripped through my body – my muscles clamping on him inside me and my penis jerked in his hands as I released between our bodies. Immediately, his body got taut on top of me, releasing his load against my prostate and tearing a whimper from my throat at aftershocks of pleasure. _

_My legs fell away from around him as he fell on top of me, catching his own breath before lifting himself up on his elbows. My cheeks were flushed and damp with my tears and I refused to look into his eyes – this time, not only had he raped me, he had taken the tiny amount of dignity I had left by forcing me to enjoy it. I kept my eyes closed as he reached above my head to unbind my hands. _

_I wanted to reach up and strangle him as my hands were freed but exhausted as I was, I could not manage more than weak punch for the humiliation he had just put me through. He caught the offending hand in his palm and kissed the inside of my wrist softly before he pulled out of me and dressed himself. _

"_Five minutes until lunch is over ," he warned as he dropped my shorts and underwear by my body. "You should get moving soon unless you want to be caught looking so thoroughly fucked by a bunch of 7__th__ graders." _

"_You bastard!" I growled as I sat up, wincing from the pain in my lower back. But I glanced at the clock and realized he was right – hurling every curse I knew at him, I dressed myself as fast as I could. I was almost done by the time he was walking out the doorway. _

_Before he walked out the door, he turned around to look at me, incredible possessiveness shining from the hard lines of his chiseled face. And I was scared shitless. Because I knew right then that he had _liked_ doing this to me – and he was going to try to keep doing it._

After that second incident, I did my best to avoid him – I never went anywhere alone in school, if I saw him in a hallway, I found some excuse to turn the opposite way. I was certainly never stupid enough to try to beat him up alone again – on a few early occasions where he cornered me again, I fought back again as hard as I could but the results were abysmal. I learned later that Matt had started taking Judo a couple of years ago and was a rather gifted student at it. Figures.

It took me about a year to realize that whether I fought back or not – whether I hid from him or not, sooner or later, he always found me. And he always managed to take what he wanted. And the harder I fought or hid, the more likely he was to take me for a really long time or in a more public place where the risk of being caught was much higher. The bulk of the risk in our 'relationship' fell on me – the Teenage Wolves were huge by the time Matt was 17 & if he was caught doing anything to me, he would probably not get anything more than a slap on the wrist & youthful experimentation. But I had never heard of a 'gay' soccer-player who made it big – especially not one who was routinely raped by another man.

So, by the time junior year rolled around I started to give in – when I would see him approaching me with a certain light in his eyes, I would veer off towards a dark classroom, or an unused stairwell or a janitor's closet, waiting for him to follow me – it's not like he hadn't taken me by force many, many times before. And I realized that he was usually a lot more considerate about my plans if I cooperated. He never offered any explanations for why he was intent on raping me all the time – I guess lust & power were the driving factors. Not that it really made any difference to me why he did it.

The footsteps got closer and closer as I slowed my pace down, giving up the futile dream of trying to get away.

Resolutely, I turned around – my eyes straight-forward as I walked up to meet him. As I reached his long, lanky frame, I kept my eyes fixed on his chin. "Ten minutes, ok? I gotta take a shower before practice." I didn't bother to add that I'd need the shower to wash off traces of _him_ off me.

"Ten minutes," his melodious voice agreed as he slipped an arm around my waist, the other hand coming up to tilt my face up for a hard kiss – I closed my eyes, not wanting to see those electric blue eyes or that blond hair. My own arms came up and stayed locked between our chests, creating some space between our bodies. My protests were subtle but always present – my way of saying that I might put up with what he does to me but I was certainly not thrilled about it.

He backed me into an empty classroom, shutting the door behind us and pulling me towards the desk where he forced me onto my back – I was used to being taken like this so I simply undid my own jeans, pushing them off my legs and spreading my thighs so he could take his place in between them. I kept my head turned away the whole time, not wanting to watch as he did this to me.

He leaned his heavy weight down on me as he kissed me again. "You still refuse to look at me, eh?" he chuckled as his lips worked on mine. He laughed sarcastically as his tongue found its way inside my mouth.

"Are you open still?" he murmured, kissing my throat as his fingers checked to see whether I would need preparation. He had taken me not hours before during lunch-time and I hadn't had time for a proper-shower afterwards. Finding me loose, he lined himself up against my entrance and pushed in with one hard stroke.

I gasped at the intrusion – it was a betrayal of myself but the feeling of being stretched and forced to accommodate him felt new each time. He didn't give me much time to adjust (not that I needed it anymore) – instead, he started a heavy, pounding rhythm into me right away, hooking my legs above his shoulders to penetrate deeper and deeper into me until my body joggled helplessly on the table in front of him from the power of his thrusts.

My mind was in a detached place – far away from this and _him_. I was thankful that he kept his hands away from my own member, though I was still physically aroused from the way he was pounding against my prostate. Right now, it seemed he was content with taking his pleasure from my body without forcing pleasure into me. Thank god. I kept my eyes closed and tried to focus on anything other than the unwanted knot growing in my stomach from the way he was fucking me so hard and deep.

The thrusting continued on for a short-while. Minutes later he growled possessively as he kissed me again, thrusting his tongue into my mouth and releasing deep inside me.

He collapsed onto my chest, breathing hard - I shifted underneath him, more than a little uncomfortable with that unwanted liquid warmth spreading through my insides.

Finally he pulled out and started to pull his pants back up. Taking this as my cue to get out of there, I silently redressed myself – my boxers would be splattered with the cum leaking out of me & my own erection was still hard. But I could take care of all that in the shower.

I glanced at the clock – 10 to 4. He had taken exactly the 10 minutes he said he would. Without a word or a glance in his direction, I walked out of the room – ready to go back to pretending this nightmare part of my life didn't exist.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hi guys – if you follow my stuff, you know what I write. YamaChi, yaoi, rape & (possible mpreg). Here's another installation of more of the same XD – godddd… when will it get cliché for me?

**The plot:** Tai's a big soccer-star at his school & Matt's a teen heartthrob who attends the same school. Matt starts raping Tai but Tai can't tell anyone about it 'cus he doesn't want to get labeled a pussy-male-rape-victim 'cus that would jeporadize his chances at being drafted by a soccer team …

**MATT'S POV ON THEIR 'RELATIONSHIP':**

"Yamato… please… you and I… we had just such chemistry…" The pleading, grating voice was to my right as it had been for the last few weeks.

I sighed, trying to keep my temper from showing on my face. This annoying mousy little girl who called herself the head of my fan-club kept following me everywhere. She got it in her head after I fucked her that we were soul-mates, meant to be together for all eternity. Even though she found me not three hours later, fucking her sister.

"For the last time, Maiko – I will not go out with you. I'm sorry I led you on but the answer will always be no." _Polite but firm. _That was how my manager said I should be handling these situations. Maiko was not my first stalker and probably would not be the last – but after 3 weeks of her following me around, I was quickly reaching my breaking point of tolerance for _polite but firm_.

Not to mention having her around conflicted with my _other_ activities - this girl was a much better stalker than my other groupies and I was having a harder and harder time ditching her. I growled in frustration, my erection humming angrily in my ears – I was acutely aware that it'd been more than 24hours since I was last buried inside Tai. The vein on my dick throbbed– I had fucked two girls today but my lust was still making everything hazy. All I could see was Tai laying out on a table, shirt pulled up to expose a nipple for my mouth, one slender brown leg thrown over my shoulder, the other wrapped around my waist and dark face flushed with need as I drove into him. I groaned, knowing that fucking him was the only way to find release.

And I would get my release. Tonight.

I closed my locker and headed for the far end of the school. That's where he had picked his locker. Believing that physical distance from me would give him some protection. It genuinely amused me. Even after a year and a half, he could still be so innocent and naïve.

As I got closer to his hallway, I could hear strains of a conversation. Maiko's nasally sniffles faded into the background into the background as I focused in on that familiar voice.

"So … what do you say, Sakura? The fair's only in town for this weekend and tonight will be the best night for shows – heard they got fireworks and everything."

He was standing by the locker – leaning down to stare into the girl's wide eyes, the eagerness obvious on his dark face even from my limited view of his profile. They made the picture of a clichéd, cloyingly, sweet highschool romance about to begin – dark, athletic soccer player and slender blonde cheerleader. It would make a great movie poster for a B-rated teen movie.

_I would definitely be the villain in that picture_, I decided with a feral grin.

"Sure Tai," the blonde grinned up at him. "Pick me up at 7?"

"I'll be there," Tai said, nodding with a wide grin stretched on his face – he genuinely looked pleased. I heard rumors that he was trying to get Sakura to agree to go out with him – that was a surprise. I always figured he was still in love with Sora. And despite all his bravado, Tai wasn't the type to fuck _any_ girl willing to ride him. He had a couple of random hook-ups but by and large, the guy wanted to be in a stable relationship. Anyone with half a brain could see that much.

I shrugged, only slightly curious. I didn't give a shit whether he loved a woman or fucked her. After all, it wasn't Tai's _emotions_ I was interested in - all I cared about was the dark little hole waiting in between his legs, always tight and waiting to be plugged by my dick as I _fucked_ him raw and filled him with my cum. As long as no one else touched him there, I didn't care what he did with the rest of his body.

"Ya.. Ya.. Yamato!….. Ma..Mm….atiee pleaseeee…...," Maiko's sniffles turned into loud sobbing and she wailed my name in an effort to reclaim some of my attention. She didn't get what she wanted but I smirked when I saw how my name managed to spook Tai. He had been to too distracted by the little blonde cheerleader and her blue and yellow miniskirt to notice our presence before but as soon as Maiko had moaned the first syllabuls of my name, his back stiffened – I could almost hear the creaking in his neck as he slowly turned his head in our direction, dread filling in his narrowed, furtive eyes.

He locked eyes with Maiko first before his gaze slowly slid up to me, as if trying to confirm his nightmare. Those dark brown eyes held met mine for just a second before he looked determinedly away, a heavy flush coloring his high-cheekbones as his shaking hands reached inside the locker.

_Ah… yes… that's right… You willingly spread your legs for me whenever and wherever I choose to fuck you … but you won't look at me_, I thought with a smirk. Amused by that innocence again.

"Are you ok, Tai?" The blonde cheerleader asked again, peering up concerned into his face.

But he paid her no attention, completely focused on _my_ presence – his spine stiffening further and further as I came ever closer. I almost laughed out loud as I saw the tiny shivers racking his frame. _Don't worry Tai… I'm not going to expose our little secret in front of these two fluff-headed bimbos._ I intended to let him have his peace for now – I could easily call him later and tell him my plans for '_us'_ tonight.

"MATTIE PLEASEE!" The screech came from right just as Maiko launched herself for me. She was a small girl but I wasn't expecting a full-body shove and I side-stepped to my left, crashing into Tai, my arm reflexively going around his waist to steady him as he wobbled from my weight, his arms coming up on their reflex to plant firmly against my chest.

My body knew the feeling of Tai in my arms intimately and my erection instantaneously sang with joyous lust, pulsing against his inner leg. The next instant, he felt it too and his head was snapping up, lips opened in a perfect circle of shock and eyes wide in disbelief. My control began to slip as I met those huge brown eyes with my own and I heard myself growl possessively, my arms tightening around his waist.

_Tonight. I want you tonight_. I communicated through our locked gazes. Silent but leaving no room for argument as electricity flew between us. He would understand – it was a Friday night; he usually spent most of his weekends in my bed. Another tiny shiver went through his body as his cheeks burned even brighter pink and he lowered his gaze again, nodding imperceptibly to acquiesce, shifting uncomfortably and trying to pull away from me. My arms tightened even further around him, pulling him more flush against me so I could inhale the fresh grassy scent always emanating from him. My erection weeped to be buried inside him _**right now**_ but I distracted myself as best I could. He nodded again – a little more visibly this time, raising those brown eyes up pleadingly to meet mine before dropping them again, his hands pushing against my chest.

_Such easy acceptance to let me have you? You usually put up atleast a token resistance against me... _I glanced at the two girls staring at us wide-eyed and realized that I had been holding him a longer than regaining balance required and propriety allowed_. _I reluctantly removed my arms from around his waist, straightening up to my full height again so that I towered over his athletic but slender frame.

"Sorry," I muttered lowly, adjusting my bag and walking out. Maiko quickly fell in step with me, her annoying pleading starting up once again – she was too enamoured with me to notice anything strange in the little incident. I was almost out the door when Tai and Sakura's voice floated over again.

"That was weird," she said, confusion in her voice – Tai must've been thinking the same thing I was at the moment. Did we give her reason to suspect? She wasn't quite as brainless as Maiko. "I didn't know you knew Yamato – but you guys looked so angry at each other…"

"Yea," the relief in Tai's voice was obvious. "He thinks he's entitled to whatever he wants." I could hear the heavy sigh in his voice. "I hate him."

The rest of their conversation floated away into the background as I felt my breath catch within my throat and my heart constricted painfully in my chest. What was this strange feeling? Why the fuck did I _care_ if he hated me? He was nothing to me but a pair of legs with a little hole in between that I loved to fuck.

Growling, I pushed the emotional bullshit out of my head. He could hate me as much as he liked – just as long as he was riding my dick, willing or not, hateful or not – none of it mattered.

**A/N: Ramblings:**I swear to god I intended to have a plot here – I'll get to it… if I ever work on this story again. More likely, I'll just bored & think of another rape scenario XD XD ^^;


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello friends! This chapter is from Matt's stalker (Miako's) perspective. It's a little lighter in tone than the previous chapter – and good thing too! We needed a bit of break from that seriousness.**

_**xoxo**_

Lots of people thought Miako had fluff for brains.

Miako knew this and she really didn't appreciate it. It was insulting, not to mention _very_ wrong. After all, would an idiot be able to bribe the maintenance worker at Yamato Ishida's building into giving her a key to his apartment? She didn't _think_ so.

Well … she would show them all. No one would be able to insult her once Matt acknowledged their relationship in public. And after the little _sex-perience_ she would show him tonight, Matt would no doubt be introducing her as his girlfriend on the red-carpet in no time at all.

Miako smiled, feeling very satisfied as she adjusted the giant pink bow tied around her middle. It was part of a negligee-set - one of those see- through black lace ones with little pink bows sewn over her nipples. The matching thong underwear was see-through as well; she adjusted it as she shifted around uncomfortably on Matt's bed. Where _was_ he, anyway? He sure was taking his sweet time coming home.

The sound of keys jingling at the front door turned her pout into a smile.

_Finally!_

Now all she had to was to wait for him to come into his bedroom and unwrap her…

But things didn't go as Maiko had planned at all. The door banged shut as expected but instead of the sound of Matt's footsteps walking towards the bedroom, there was a soft 'oof' followed by a heavy thud … and then … was she hearing _moans_? And what was that strange… slurping… sound?

What the hell was going on? Had Matt fallen down and hurt himself? Should she go and check up on him? She looked mournfully around the room she'd so artfully prepared for him – candles burning everywhere… rose petals on the bed… and her, a perfect flower in the center waiting for her prince. Oh it would be a _tragedy_ if she had to go find him and disrupt this romantic setting… But she resolved herself to make the best of the situation and was half way to the door when she stopped her in her tracks.

"C-can you take me to the be...bedroom?" A deep male voice asked followed by a hiss that turned into a gasp. Maiko did not recognize that voice. Who _was_ that?

A chuckle. This time she recognized Matt's familiar tenor. "Wrap your arms around my neck," he murmured. Then the sound of long slow footsteps making their way towards the bedroom accompanied by an occasional soft moan.

_Oh shit._ Miako didn't understand what was happening but she was sure things were _not_ going according to her plan at all. The surprise she had prepared was for Matt's eyes alone! She never wanted another guy seeing her like this! She had _her modesty, her decency_ to protect!

She dove behind a couch just as the door-knob turned. The sight that came through the door was so unexpected, so _revolting_ that someone could have knocked her over with a feather.

Matt was carrying a boy. And not just carrying him but _kissing_ him as well. As they came closer, Miako realized there was tongue involved. _Ewww_…

Then another thought. Matt _kissed_? Matt hadn't kissed _her_ even though she had begged him to several times …

_Who was he?_ Miako leaned a little bit over the edge of the couch trying to get a better look so she could figure it out - cautiously at first because she didn't want to be caught. Then she realized rather angrily that she needn't have worried.

Matt was completely focused on the boy – he didn't even notice when she accidently put too much pressure on one hand and fell over onto her side with a soft thud.

But the other boy did notice.

"Matt… I … ahh… think I h-heard a noise…," he moaned again, parting his legs; Miako watched in horrified disgust as Matt slid in between them. Matt ignored his words and tilted his chin up to kiss him again, inadvertently pulling his face enough into the light so Miako got a proper look at him.

At that moment, someone could shave off her eyebrows and she wouldn't notice.

There, lying under Matt with his legs spread wide open was Taichi Kamiya. Mr. Soccer Star Extraordinaire himself. Miako rubbed her eyes but the vision didn't go away.

"I can't wait anymore," came Matt's deep voice – Miako's heart grew cold as she saw the way Matt stared down at the boy. Even at this distance, even at her awkward angle, the sheer possessiveness in Matt's face was frighteningly easy to decipher.

She had never seen that look on Matt's face before. Or had she…? Miako's mind supplied another image. _Matt holding Tai by his locker to save him from falling – Tai's cheeks flushed red…_ The look in Matt's eyes in those few minutes. That was the one other time.

Tai nodded and looked away from Matt, beginning to turn his head in her direction. Miako quickly moved back behind the safety of the couch again.

She put her head to her knees, trying to ignore the sharp gasp of pain from Tai and a groan of satisfaction from Matt. A few moments of harsh panting followed … and then the sound of the headboard banging against the wall, softly at first and then louder and faster_. Were they…_? With Tai looking in this general direction, she didn't dare poke her head out again. But the sound of the creaking bed, the increasing pitch in shrieks from Tai and even the occasional grunts from Matt… there was no doubt what was happening.

It niggled at her that Matt hadn't made a single sound the one time she let him make love to her. Did … did that mean he enjoyed himself more with Tai? A man? But she pushed that thought away – she would eventually learn how to please Matt better than any other lover.

_Fucking_. That's all this was to Matt – she was sure of it. She just had to wait it out and then she would be able to slip out.

And wait she did.

The fucking went on for _hours_. The bed would stop creaking for a few minutes – and then heavy breathing would follow accompanied by the slurping noise Maiko eventually figured out was kissing. And just when she thought they had enough, Tai would start whimpering again before the whole cycle started over. It was like the whole thing had been designed just to torture her.

But Miako figured out a few things in those few ghastly, disgusting hours: she could _use_ thisknowledge to her advantage. She could casually, subtly let Matt know that she _knew_. Ofcourse he would tell her the truth: Tai begged him to fuck him and seeing how pathetic he was, Matt just didn't have the heart to say no. And Miako would promise Matt she would never, ever tell a soul about what she saw. Not even when the tabloids offered her hundreds of thousands of dollars for her story. He would be so grateful… so enamored with her he would _immediately_ propose!

The digital wall clock flashed 4AM by the time Miako heard the deep, even breaths that indicated the two boys were asleep. She raised herself silently from her crouched position behind the couch, her limbs stiff from not having moved in six hours, wincing quietly as she rubbed her tailbone. She had made a pact with herself that she was **not going to look**. But it was like trying not to look at a car-wreck; half-way to the door, her resolve failed and her eyes were drawn to the bed.

The candles were half-burnt so there wasn't much light in the room; but she could clearly make out Tai laying enfolded in Matt's arms, spooned against the boy's chest, his dark head tucked Matt's chin. Even the combination of dimly lit room and dark skin wasn't enough to hide the bruises that littered Tai's body. Miako's mind supplied the image of Matt kissing his way down Tai's chest when she wondered where the bruises had come from. One of Tai's thighs was raised, the insides splattered with white goo; and… it looked suspiciously like Matt was still… _connected_… to him.

The whole picture screamed of Matt's possession.

She could feel the bile coming up her throat as she angrily turned away and walked out the door, as quickly and quietly as she could.

One thing was sure. Taichi Kamiya would have to be removed from Matt's life.


	4. Chapter 4

"**Stay away from him."**

I never expected to hear that much venom drip from Maiko's voice. Never thought she was capable of it really. Not to mention, I had no clue what she was talking about. I guess the look of blank puzzlement on my face must have shown.

"Oh… don't you _dare_ pretend to be innocent, Taichi Kamiya," she hissed as she walked closer to me. For a girl 6' shorter than my 5'8 height, she's pretty intimidating.

I stood my ground– it would have been ridiculous to back away from a coed. "What are you talking about Maiko?" I hoped she would tell me – had I inadvertently broken one of her friends' hearts? The soccer team was quite popular with the sophomores and I was no doubt the all-around stud.

By this point, she had walked right up to my chest; "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Mr. Popular Jock. I _saw_ you… with **him**…"

Instantly, the playfulness fell away from my features.

No… It can't be.

I began to panic. Did she know? How could she? I was always so careful … always picked classrooms in the most unused deserted hallways when he wanted me… I cleared my head as best as I could. She was bluffing – she knew nothing. She _couldn't_. "I-I don't k-know what you're talking about Maiko," I said, pushing her shoulders gently to try to walk away from her.

But she had seen that flash of panic in my eyes. My jugular was bared and I could see from the glint in her hazel eyes that she was absolutely going to go in for the kill.

She slithered right up to me once again, leaning up to whisper very gently into my ears. "_I_ _saw him fucking you_…" My eyes were impossibly wide as my mind blanked. I felt as if I was floating away from my own body.

Then she added another smirk. "And I know you _wanted_ it…"

That last sentence snapped me back into myself. "You know _nothing_!" I growled as I ran from the hallway and this evil little bitch.

"Just stay away from him, Kamiya!" I heard her words floating after me like an ominous warning. "Or. You. Will. Pay."

**xoxo**

I nearly broke down his door before he answered. His eyes were still heavy from sleep – it was noon on a Friday. He must've had a gig last night.

Confusion followed as soon the sleep cleared enough for him to realize it was me standing at his door – I _never_ came to this place unless he brought me here himself. But it didn't take long though for the familiar lust to chase away the confusion as he stared at me – hunger for me making those blue eyes glow. I shuddered. No matter how many times he fucked me, that look always managed to make me shiver uncomfortably.

Still, I couldn't just stand around in the hallway waiting for him to invite me in; I wasn't here on a social visit. We had something very, _**very**_ important to talk about. I shoved my way inside, pushing past him and firmly locking the door behind us. My fists were clenched tightly at my side as I stared at him, trembling in anger and panic even as I tried to find the words to express the horror facing us.

No … not us… _facing_ _me.._. If this got out, he would barely feel a scratch. He was already a huge star – there were countless tabloid stories of him fucking women in dark alleyways and hotel rooms; some of those stories came complete with pictures. Even a couple of scandalous rumors of him going into an all-male brothel. No matter how depraved he was, it only fed into his '_Rebel without a cause_' bad-boy image and increased his notoriety.

But me… I was a struggling to get noticed by a soccer team. I could only imagine how things would go down if team managers found out I was Yamato Ishida's fuck toy. Everything I'd ever wanted, everything I'd ever worked for was on the verge of slipping away… All because of _him_ and his goddamn libido. It was all I could to try to control myself from punching him – not that it would make any difference. Matt had only grown stronger in these last 2 years and he could easily put me in a hospital if we got into a fight.

When I didn't move for a few seconds, he just shrugged, moving closer in those long, loping confident steps to come wrap his arms around me – I slapped his hands away as I jumped back growling at him in anger.

"Maiko knows," I hissed.

It took him a few seconds to process what I said then his eyes widened in shock. "How?" He asked, standing stalk-still in shock.

"She _saw_ us… she saw you fucking me. _Raping_ me." I corrected myself.

He laughed – blue eyes glittering like diamonds. "I hardly think what we do is rape, Tai. You come now when I enter you… I don't even need to stroke you off anymore," he said, the satisfied smirk of an expert lover on his face.

I looked away from him; could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment and anger at his words. Technically, he was right. The sex between us wasn't rape anymore. "I only consented to this so that you'd stop raping me in places where we'd get caught," I reminded him, still unable to look into his eyes.

"In a perfect world, I would have been legally allowed to strip your skin from your flesh after that first time. But since that wasn't possible ... this _agreement_ we have seemed like the only way to make sure someone didn't catch us with your dick in my ass **'cus I couldn't fight you off** and you wouldn't stop fucking me against** lockers, and in the school parking lot, and in the alley outside my job**!" I breathed hard – it'd been a long time since I was this angry at him.

"So… what do you want me to do?" He asked quietly.

I lifted my eyes up to meet his then – I could feel the wetness as tears began to streak down my cheeks. "Let me go…," I whispered, begging him with my eyes as much as I was with my lips. "Please… I haven't fought you for a really long time… I was always willing when you wanted me… if-if people find out about this I will never be able to live my dreams," I felt my throat start to close up at the thought. "If these two years meant anything to you … please stop now… Just let me go."

A few long moments of silence passed between us. He turned away from me and stared out the window – it was just starting to rain outside.

How godddamn poetic.

I saw him clench his fists as his back shook. Then he whispered the word that destroyed the small hope I had been nurturing in my chest.

"… no…." The first time he said it he was so quiet I could almost pretend I hadn't heard it at all. "NO." The second time left no room for hope. He turned back and started to stalk towards me, repeating that word over and over again.

_Oh no_… I knew that look in his eyes – the look that signaled I would be naked and under him in a matter of seconds. I couldn't deal with this now. I ran for the door, determined to save myself atleast this humiliation if I couldn't avoid anything else. But he slammed one arm hard against the door even before I managed to turn the lock. Why had I locked the damn thing earlier? Why had I even bothered to come here? I knew how selfish he was! I knew this was exactly what would happen! Why had I put myself in this situation?

His arm was rough around my waist as he flipped me around and trapped me between the door and his hard, lean frame. I couldn't look at him even as he tilted my chin up and studied my face.

"So beautiful…," he whispered, running his fingers over the curve of my lips. "But so callous too," he added. I kept my eyes firmly downwards, refusing to look at him again just like every other time he took me. After all, nothing had changed between us.

That first kiss was hard, his tongue immediately forcing its way inside – his hands cupping my ass and pushing me up so that I was forced to feel the heat of his erection from his pajama pants. I could feel his heart beating erratically under my palms, pressed up against his naked chest. I couldn't stop the whimper when he finally tore his head away; my eyes involuntarily swept up to meet blue.

He laughed, hard and bitter. "What about my dreams, huh?" He asked mysteriously, staring down at me as his fingers brushed away the tears gathered at the corners of my eyes. "Or doesn't what I want _matter_?"

It was my turn to be enraged now. And I raged with relish, happy to feel an emotion other than hopelessness. "What you wanted was the _**only**_ thing that's mattered to you over the last two years," I hissed back. "Or did you conveniently forget that?"

He smirked – the same smirk I remember seeing on his face the first time he raped me in that locker room. "I guess you're right," he said, nonchalantly.

Then I was in his arms, shivering involuntarily as he raped my mouth with his tongue. _How much longer will I have I live like this_… I wondered as he unceremoniously threw me over his shoulder and carried me into his bedroom.

A few hours later, I lay curled up and exhausted in his bed - my lips were swollen from his insistent, possessively hard kisses, my throat burned from all the screaming. I could barely keep my eyes open. Yamato had just finished fucking me for a good four hours & I was relieved when he finally decided to take a break. I didn't bother protesting what he did – I couldn't beat him off me physically and this afternoon had proved that I couldn't appeal to his emotions either. This was my lot in life until he decided he had enough.

He was moving around noisily in the bathroom - I heard the faucet turned off and then he was padding across the wood floor on his bedroom and sliding into the sheets next to me. My back was turned to him but I curled a little tighter into myself. _Please... please don't touch me anymore_, I begged silently in my mind. Ofcourse after all this time, I wasn't stupid enough to waste my breath saying things like that out loud. Yamato Ishida could touch me, kiss me, fuck me when he wanted, where he wanted. What I wanted made no difference. That was reality.

The soft wet towel rubbing gently between my thighs pulled a tiny moan from my lips. What...? I moaned again as he wiped his cum off my body. When he was finished, he reached over and cleaned my abdomen off as well. This … this was new. Unless I was taking a shower with him, he would never let me clean myself after he had me - always said he liked knowing that I was walking around marked with proof of his claim.

When he was done, he lay down but didn't make a move to touch me. Another unusual move. I was rarely in his bed without his dick inside me – even when we slept. At the very least, I expected him to pull me into his arms – but he simply turned on his side, his back turned towards me.

"I promise I won't take you in school anymore," he said quietly.

I sat up, not daring to believe my own ears. "What…?" I asked, my eyes shining with hope.

"This doesn't mean I'm letting you go," he said, clarifying himself quickly. "Y-you have to come here every weekend. But there's no chance of anyone finding out about us here." He added, his voice strained and hard.

I could hardly believe my luck! Sure… it wasn't the total separation from Matt I always hoped for. But I would have my freedom five days out of the week! That was _infinitely_ better than my circumstances a few hours ago. "I understand." I choked out. I might've hugged him – but I knew that would probably end up with me pressed down underneath him again.

"Good," he said, voice sounding more exhausted than I had heard in a long time.


	5. Need a new perspective!

Hi guys! I need a little help – I woke up this morning feeling a little confused. I wrote Chapter 3 & 4 in a couple of hours last night – pretty happy with Chapter 3 (so that's not going to change much). I can't put my finger on exactly why but Chapter 4 feels off to me. So here's my question to you guys:

Do I need to edit chapter 4? What was weak in Chapter 4? I meant for Tai to feel hopeless and angry – did that come across well enough?

Also appreciated: general comments on the fic as a whole too. What's weak? What works?

I know there's a bunch of you reading/following this fic so don't you dare go back into the woodworks without leaving me your perspective ;) Be quick about it too please – I'm itching to write Chapter 5 & I can't move on until I finish Chapter 4.


	6. Chapter 5

You guys! Thank you for your review of Chapter 4 – ultimately, I'm not happy with it but I'm too bored to go back and change it now. Maybe after I've finished the story, it'll be something fun to go back and edit. But thanks again for being so detailed & awesome in your reviews!

Here's Chapter 5 – it's from Tai's perspective.

**xoxo**

Maiko was angry at herself – she was hidden in the bushes in front of Yamato's buildings. It was just supposed to be a routine check-up on her way back from the mall to see if she could catch a glimpse of her Mattie tonight. Instead, she saw Taichi Kamiya coming out the front doors. A limp in his walk. It didn't take much for Maiko to figure out where that limp came from.

_I can't believe I didn't follow up on this more thoroughly before, _she thought as she gritted her teeth. _I bet that little slut never stopped coming here in the last three weeks since I warned him off __**my**__ Matt! _She had been so vigilant in school – following Matt everywhere to make sure that faggot soccer player kept his grubby mitts off her man. She even followed Matt home everyday to make sure he was unaccompanied when he went into his building. It'd seemed like Tai had gotten the message.

But that sneaky little whore had obviously found a way around her. And he was in Matt's apartment guilting her wonderful love into doing those disgusting things with him.

_I'll show you, Taichi Kamiya. I'll show you what's it's like when you cross Maiko Abara, _she vowed silently.

**xoxo**

Matt was true to his words. At first, I didn't believe him – didn't think he would stop taking me in public. But it'd been a couple of weeks since he made his promise and in that time, he hadn't once tried to corner me in some unused classroom or deserted stairwell. Oh sure… he still called me up on my phone – ordered me over to his place at night and on the weekends. I didn't dare disobey him either – didn't want to risk things going back the way they were. Because, no matter how much I hated going over to his place and willingly submitting myself to him, this new situation was still a huge improvement over being fucked in school. Atleast no one would find out about 'us' if the time we spent together was restricted inside his house only.

So you can imagine my surprise at what happened one afternoon when Kazu followed me into an unused bathroom.

Kazu was on the soccer team with me but we were not friends. He and I had similar tastes in women – but it seemed women had more of a taste for me. It didn't help that he and I had applied for the same soccer scholarship and I'd been the one to get it. Yes, Kazu was always the loser in our little duel. We'd gotten into a few light scuffles here and there, exchanged some words – but all in all, the pecking order was maintained well enough. We both knew I was his superior in every way.

But on this particular afternoon, Kazu deliberately followed me into this bathroom in one of the most deserted corners of the school. And now, he was standing at the doorway, a shit-eating grin stretched across his pudgy, round face.

I ignored him until I heard the 'click' indicating that the door had been locked. "What do you want, Kazu?" I asked, looking up from where I'd been washing my hands.

He didn't answer. Instead he started walking towards me in wide, confident strides – his eyes hard on my face and that grin getting wider and wider until I could smell the stench of sweat coming off his heavy body.

"Hi there Tai," he greeted cheerfully. "I heard a few things about you… some … interesting… rumors," he added in a gleeful sing-song voice. "And I just had to come ask you if they're true…"

My heart started pounding in my chest even as I struggled to maintain a look of nonchalance on my face. There were plenty of rumors about me floating around but only one thing I meticulously kept a secret … and there was no way Kazu knew about _that_.

I stood my ground, straightening up to my full height so I was staring down at him. Kazu's shorter than me but stockier built – we'd be about evenly matched if it came down to a fight. "Rumor? Like the one that I fucked your girlfriend at Noriko's kegger last Saturday?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice even-keeled. "That one's not a rumor - it's the truth."

He went tense – that grin instantaneously changing into a growl as he threateningly leaned even closer, fists balled up at his sides as if he was barely controlling himself from hitting me. I would've welcomed the fight but he managed to control his temper well enough to continue baiting me with his words.

"Fucking a girl? I heard you like to take it up the ass?"

His words hit me like a freight train, barreling down straight through my chest. It was my turn now to keep control but I failed; I staggered backwards away from him, stopping as my back hit the fountain. After Maiko found out, I knew the rumors could spread very quickly. But it'd been weeks since we talked and there was nothing. No snide mocking remarks. No looks of disgust. No smirks when I passed by. So I had stupidly come to hope she wouldn't say anything … thought perhaps she didn't want anyone to know her darling Yamato enjoyed diddling me.

But now that hope was shattered.

Kazu laughed, drawing my attention back to him. "Oh… so it's true?" He asked, stepping closer to me as he completely invaded my personal space. "I thought she was making it up… but seems like our dear captain likes to be everybody's bitch." He started undoing his belt – lowering the chain on his pants.

"What are you doing Kazu?" I asked, barely cognizant as I watched him pull his pants down. My voice totally numb as I tried to come to terms with this new reality where everyone knew my shameful secret. Because if Kazu knew, then it would be a matter of minutes before the rumor spread like wildfire.

"I'm going to find just why Ishida likes fucking you so much," he answered back, fiddling with the ties on his boxers.

I saw red.

I don't remember how the rest of it happened – only that a few moments later, I was repeatedly kicking Kazu in the groin as he lay in a protective ball on the ground. He had long since stopped fighting back; now he simply whimpered each time my sneakers connected with his privates. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins, triumph and despair driving me almost insane. I didn't stop even when the edge of my sneaker came away streaked with Kazu's blood. I tried to release every bit of rage with each blow: my anger at Matt, my bitterness at how I was unable to defend myself.

I didn't know how long I was there for. Kazu lay unconscious on the ground, a bloody pulp beaten black and blue. But I didn't feel any better; the hatred was swelling inside me, growing ever stronger with each second. Kazu was far away in my mind away – an inanimate punching bag that did nothing to distract me from my fury.

Because he wasn't the real cause of my misery. That honor belonged to Yamato Ishida.

The dark rage inside me whispered that it was lunch-time and that bastard would be in the cafeteria, flanked by his groupies. My my soccer-career was gone– that much I had suspected when Kazu mentioned the 'rumor'. And I'd already put the final nail in the coffin by beating Kazu to a bloody pulp. There was no dream left for me to protect anymore, no secret shame to hide. No reason why I shouldn't go to the cafeteria and destroy the bastard who destroyed my life.

I didn't spare Kazu a glance as I walked away from his lumpy body. All the anger and anguish made me quick and agile as I sprinted towards my destination, tracking bloody footprints all over the dirty linoleum tiles.

The cafeteria was buzzing with noise as always, but none of it really registered. I pulled a red plastic tray out of some kid's hands, pushing him out of my way, as my eyes focused directly on my target. Matt was watching me silently. _Do you know, asshole? Do you know I'm going to break your pretty face today?_ I wondered as I stalked towards him. We rarely interacted in public so there was no reason he should suspect. Evidently though, he sensed something big was about to happen; I clenched the tray in my hand as I saw him slowly raise himself out of his chair. He ignored the questioning gasps from his fanclub as he stepped around the table and took long steps to meet me half-way.

The shrill feminine cry sounded far, far away as the plastic tray broke from the force with which I brought it down on Matt's chest. The bastard was bleeding already, and I hadn't even hit him yet. In my fight with Kazu, I'd used mostly my legs and the whole thing felt disconnected and far away from me. That was the last thing I wanted with Matt – I wanted to feel his ribs cracking underneath my fist, smell his blood, watch that body I hated so much turn into pulpy flesh. I wanted things up close and personal.

I barely registered that his arms had come up around my waist as I threw my weight at him, the momentum enough to send us both crashing down to the ground with me on top of him, straddling him. This was not an unfamiliar position for us – he forced me to ride him often enough. But now, the circumstances were changed. Now, I was the one in control.

I took one second to smirk down into his resigned blue eyes and then I punched him hard across the cheek bone, pleasure flooding through me as I saw a bruise begin to flower on his pale skin. I didn't stop to question why he wasn't even defending himself as I brought blow after blow down on his chest and face. His lip split open under my knuckles, and then I heard a sickening crunch coming from his collar bone before I was thrown to the floor. I snarled in anger, trying to push the strong arms holding me down – my hazy vision barely registered the janitors and other classmates who had pulled me off him.

No! These people had no right to interfere! I clawed at the hands trying to hold me away and had nearly managed to break through the ranks when the jolt of electricity flowed through me and consciousness slipped away.

**xoxo**

Tai lost it! Yay! : ) I hope it felt honest to you guys. It's really the only way that I could see him reacting that would make any sense to me.


	7. Chapter 6

That secretary keeps glancing nervously at me. She's behaving as if I will attack her at any moment even though we're not alone; Principal Gennai is sitting across the mahogany desk from me and she's in one corner transcribing our conversation. Still, I can't blame her for feeling uneasy. The descriptions about Kazu when the janitor found him were not half as graphic as the pictures printed in the papers the next day. Ofcourse I didn't get to see the paper until about a week later, when I got out of jail.

Gennai sighs. "Can you explain to me why you did this Mr. Kamiya?" He's trying hard to understand – books were never my strong suit. But I've always been a popular guy, active in sports, seen with the right girlfriends. From the outside, my life looked pretty good. So why I would throw away my future on a schoolyard brawl?

"It was a mistake," I say it but I don't believe it. Even now, I'm half day-dreaming about killing Matt.

"I can't understand why there are no charges being pressed against you, Mr. Kamiya," the principal says sternly, leaning across the desk so that I'm looking into dark eyes. "Atleast that's the official stance," he pointedly looking at the secretary. The clicking on her keyboard stops.

"But you and I both know you have a very wealthy friend to thank for your happy fortunes," he continues, leaning in closer. "And I certainly don't know why Yamato Ishida offered to refurbish our entire computer lab on the condition you be allowed to complete your senior year," he mutters, searching my face for some hint of surprise that the boy I attacked would come to my defense.

But he gets nothing because I knew this already. Kari broke her silence against me long enough to tell me how Matt bribed Kazu's family into dropping charges and then bribed the school into not expelling me. I keep my cool in front of Principal Gennai and simply shrug my shoulders.

Why is he so perplexed that Matt would try to keep me around? The old man keeps a pretty close eye on his student-body. So why didn't he already know about the 'intimate' relationship between that blond bastard and me? Kari didn't give any inclination she knew either. Now that I think about it, Kazu has been hospitalized ever since I got through with him. And Miako probably has enough brains to keep her mouth shut after she saw what I'm capable of. I guess my secret is 'safe'. For now, anyway.

After a few awkward moments, Gennai realizes he's not going to any more answers. "Ofcourse, your permanent record will indicate your violent tendencies towards other students," he continues perfunctorily, flipping through my file. I know what that means: my scholarship from S University is gone.

"And you will no longer be allowed to participate in any team sports, including soccer," he adds. I knew this before too but this time my face crumples; hearing those words makes it feel like there's a knife stabbing through my stomach. Really, I just want to get up and walk out of this office right now. A highschool degree means nothing to me. Not when it doesn't lead into a soccer-career at a University and then a professional team.

But I remember my family – how my father shakes his head and walks out when I enter the room, how my mother cries every time she sees me, how Kari doesn't even look at me anymore. Like the police, they believe I smoked Kazu in an irrational fit of teenage rage. After I came home from jail, I briefly flirted with the idea of telling them about everything that's happened in the last two years. But my pride won't let me. So going back to school, pretending everything is normal - this is my way of making amends with my family, of trying to show them that I am the same athletic, popular son and brother as always.

Gennai is staring at me. That's right: he just told me I won't be playing soccer anymore and I'm expected to respond. "Yes, Principal," I tell him. "I understand the consequences of my action," I say, taking responsibility for what I did. Except I don't feel bad about puncturing Kazu's lung or breaking Matt's collar bone.

"I hope you realize how fortunate you are, Mr. Kamiya," Gennai reiterates. "You should be spending the next 20 years in jail for what you did to Kazu Iharu. Instead, you get a chance at redemption." He closes the file and stares into my eyes again. "Don't spoil it."

I stand up, sensing that I'm about to dismissed. I don't bother to respond to Gennai's last comments – he has treated me with as much respect as can be expected in this situation but I can't offer any other explanation. Atleast he was smart enough not to wax on about how I should be grateful to Yamato Ishida.

"Thank you for the second chance, Principal," I say as I exit his office. It's the first sincere thing I've said in our entire meeting.

**xoxo**

"So how much did it take to keep Kazu quiet?" I ask, my eyes resolutely fixed on him. Matt is sitting awkwardly on my chair, playing with his guitar pick, and refusing to look at me. It's the most submissive I've ever seen him. Part of me is thankful – I'm not sure I could meet his eyes without attacking him again.

I try to ignore how violated I feel. Him being in my house, my bedroom feels so heinously wrong.

When he showed up at the door, my first instinct was to put my dad's new $200 carving-knife to good use. But my mom invited him inside, insisted that I speak to him, thank him for how he saved me from years of imprisonment by intervening with Kazu. She even offered him refreshments. That awkward moment when your mom asks your rapist if he likes cream with his coffee. Surreal.

"Doesn't matter how much I paid Kazu. I got another record coming out – it's not a problem," he replies after a few long moments.

I shrug his answer off. While I was in jail, one of the guards at the jail hinted the bribe was in the millions. Really, I don't give a rat's ass. "Okay. Then let's talk about something else: why are you here?" I ask him directly. I don't want to know but I want him gone asap. Maybe he'll leave after he speaks his mind.

My patience is dwindling when he doesn't answer quickly. "What is it? Do you think I'm going to let you fuck me in my parents' house, Matt?" I ask quietly, trying to keep the anger and hate in my voice toned down so I don't start screaming at him. "I hope you're not stupid enough to try – my family is right outside the door." Ofcourse it goes without saying that's no guarantee.

He looks up at me slowly, & for a second I think I see a hint of shame in his deep blue eyes. "I'm not going to lie," he replies quietly. "I want you right now, Tai." His body is tense, and I can see the familiar lust for me on his features, though it is somewhat muted. My spine stiffens, and I tell myself it will be all right. If anything, I'll scream and my parents will come running in to 'save' Matt from my rage. So I say nothing and wait for him to continue because it's obvious he's not yet finished.

It's a few more minutes until he speaks again. "But… more importantly… I want to apologize," he says this part so softly I almost miss it.

"What?" I whisper back, unable to believe my ears. He can't actually mean that.

His words come a little faster now, a little less hesitant. "I… I never wanted to hurt your soccer career, Tai," he says softly. "Only wanted your body, didn't stop to think about what would happen if your teammates found out about us."

I'm out of my seat and punch him hard across his bandaged shoulder and collar-bone. "You thought of nothing but yourself, you selfish bastard!" I hiss back. "Why'd you do it, huh? Too tired of fucking your girlfriends so you wanted a challenge? Did you wanna see how long it would take before I fell head-over-heels for you, your narcissistic prick? Guess what? It's never gonna happen! I'm never gonna want you! You will always be a rapist!" I am standing over him, breathing hard. I barely have enough self-control left to keep my voice down. I keep my fists balled into the collar of his shirt, forcing him to look up at me.

"I know," he says slowly, pain and fatigue now evident in his face. "That's why I came here with a proposal for you today."

"What proposal?" I snap, keeping the strong hold on his collar as I fight to keep my irritation in check.

He keeps his eyes locked on my mine and continues with just the barest hint of hesitation. "I want to take care of you financially."

My grip on his collar loosens and my eyes widen in confusion. What does he mean…?

He must sense my confusion and he begins to offer an explanation. "You don't have a future here, Tai. Your soccer career is gone. You're academically weak. What are you going to do after highschool?" He asks. "Work construction? Depend on your parents? Your dad has a government job – he's going to retire soon, isn't he? Or do you want him to keep working forever to support you?"

"So what're you trying to say, asshole?" I grind out, putting a little more pressure on his damaged collar bone to cause him more pain.

The smirk hides his wince. "After all this time, I shouldn't be surprised about how dense you can be…," he shakes his head, the disbelief obvious in his features. "I'm offering you security – I'll buy you an apartment, pay for your school. You can get a teaching certificate, teach kids how to play. You always like playing with kids," he says, bringing up the little league soccer-team I coach on Sundays.

I'm starting to get an inkling of what he's saying. "And what do you want in exchange for this generosity?"

"What do you think?" His voice is devoid of any emotion. He has made no move to touch me. There is nothing lecherous in the way he looks at me.

And yet I know exactly what he is asking for. The thought disgusts me, drawing a very real shudder from my body. I can barely even tolerate sharing the air with him anymore. "I'm not an object to be bought for your amusement. You really are selfish and insane," I spit out in disgust as I roughly push him away. I'm on the other side of the room before I speak again.

"I talked to you today because I respect my mother's wishes. But now, we're done talking. Get out of my house. Get out of my life. If you come near me again, I swear I will shoot you. I won't care going to jail, or soccer, or my parents' feelings. I will kill you," I hope he has enough intelligence to realize I'm not bluffing.

Matt surveys me carefully, trying to measure the weight of my words. "Ok. I'll leave you alone," he says, once he's decided that I'm serious. "But you will realize soon enough this is your best option, Tai." He is out of his chair and out of my bedroom.

I hear him say a perfunctory goodbye to my family and then the heavy front door shuts behind him as he leaves.


	8. Chapter 6b

**Hi guys! This part is going to go a little bit back in time so we can see what happened to Maiko (why is she so silent?). Also a look at Matt's feelings. **

**Bonus chapter, I guess you can call it really! **

"I can't believe you brought me to such a beautiful hotel, Mattie. I really must be the luckiest girl in the world," Maiko sighs as she turns to me from the window.

"I know this won't be our first official time together, but how about we pretend like it is?" She runs a hand through her long brown hair, staring at me with a seductive smile on her bright red lips. "Makes things so much more romantic that way, don't you think?" Her pink skin-tight dress rides up her thighs as she slithers towards me, giving me a glimpse of red lacy underwear. She's a low-class whore in this high-class hotel.

But I didn't bring her here looking for a good time. What I want are answers… And a little _insurance_, but that part we can get to later.

"And it was you who told Kazu about my history with Tai, right?" This question is the only reason I'm here in this private room with her. I have to know: Was it her? Or is some other meddlesome retard involved? I flick the television on. Boredom and the throbbing pain in my broken collar bone are eating away at my patience.

"I needed a way to save you from him." She's behind my chair now and wraps her arms around my neck, pressing her breast against the side of my face. "You can find a way to thank me tonight." Her voice is a throaty whisper.

I've never been particularly hot-tempered. But my rage is quickly reaching boiling point and it takes a lot of effort to keep my voice even-keeled as I shrug her arms off from shoulders. "That's what I need to know. Stop touching me so casually, Maiko. You mean nothing to me."

Her embrace around my shoulders loosen and she gasps. Quickly, she's around the chair and kneeling in front of me, face flushed in confusion. "But Mattie! Aren't you happy? I did it for you! I knew he was guilting you into doing those disgusting things with him! You know we're meant to be together! I know you didn't want to touch him!"

I want to laugh but I am too angry. "Taichi belongs to me," I ground out. "And no one will ever take him from me."

"Mattie!" Her shoulders shake with the force of her sobs. "You can't be serious! What do you see about him? He's not good enough to kiss the ground you walk on!" She's wailing loudly, tears streaming down her blotchy red cheeks.

Her question makes me pause for a second. What do I see in him? Objectively speaking, he's very mediocre compared to me. He is beautiful with his chocolate eyes, and bronze skin. But I could have a thousand more exotic-looking men or women with a simple glance. He's athletic, but not particularly strong. He's certainly not the brightest bulb in the box. Did I pursue him because he was one of the few not hurling themselves at my feet? I know that's not right – the rest of the digidestined don't treat me like a god either and I don't go bat-shit crazy with lust when they look at me.

So… what is it about him? His smile flashes in front of my eyes and instantly I know why I'm so addicted to him. Such earnest sincerity. It's easy to see when he's playing soccer, helping out a friend, taking care of his sister. Even in the digiworld when we were so young, he was always so attentive towards everyone. That kind of attention – I want it for myself alone. I want that innocent smile to light up when he sees me.

Because I know it still can. Even though I raped him, he still has that air of sweet naivety about him. Like he truly believes the world is a good place. I'm certain that inherent goodness will never die out.

Or … atleast I was certain before yesterday. He was so angry, so hurt when he attacked me. Did something inside him break…?

"M-mattie? Why do you like him?" Maiko sniffles and interrupts me from my musing. Her face is puffy and bloated as she looks up at me. Oh right… she's waiting for an answer.

"It's really none of your business." Tired of this interaction, I change the subject. "My security guard told me you broke into my apartment one day."

She blushes beet red in embarrassment. "I-I'm sor!"

I cut her off before she can finish her apology. "You're on my surveillance tape. You were in my bedroom, waiting for me. There are also tapes showing you outside my building almost every night. I will be reporting you as a stalker to the police. You're going to jail, Maiko."

Her face has turned almost purple now. "No! You can't go! We're meant to be together!" She screeches loudly as she throws herself at me, clawing at my legs. I shove her away and walk out the door, leaving her to sob desperately on the floor.

**xoxo**

I shift nervously waiting outside his door. It's the first time we're meeting since he was released from jail. I'm dressed in loose clothing, with a bag slung in front of my hips to hide my erection. Oh god. What will I say? What am I _doing_ here? He surely doesn't want to see me.

But I know this is the only place I can be. This past week has been painful. Not the money loss – paying off Kazu wiped out nearly my entire earnings but I can always make more money. Unfortunately, the pictures of Kazu's bruised, broken body were published before I managed to talk to him. But his family dropped the charges. The media tried to find a connection between Kazu's attack and mine, but with him refusing to talk and Maiko in jail, they thankfully were not able to find much. In the end, Tai was portrayed as another high-school student who got into an ordinary highschool fight with Kazu and then went berserk from the influence of violent video-games. Never mind that he didn't actually play a lot of video-games.

The real hard part of last week was being without Tai. It nearly drove me to insanity, not being able to fuck him. Hardly surprising though considering how much I lust for him. But here's the unexpected part: I found myself wanting to comfort him. My heart clenched painfully in my chest when I thought about how devastated he must be. It doesn't take a genius to figure out he's never going to be able to play soccer professionally. Hell, given how much news coverage this story got, he might not even be able to get a job at all.

And yet… I'm not so high-minded as to not use that in my favor. Here are some things I know now: I will never be happy without Tai. Tai will never voluntarily be mine. Given his notoriety, Tai will not be able to make a good future for himself. I have the means to give him a future.

So as I raise my hand to knock on the door, I know what I'm going to offer him.

**I hope this chapter tied up some loose ends. I've decided to just finish the story & then go back and edit it later.**


	9. Chapter 9

The goodbyes with my family at the train station had been tense. They never truly recovered from seeing their bright, shining son fall so low. Matt's predictions came true: I finished highschool without any prospects. College was impossible. I tried applying to coach soccer at Junior leagues, but no team would consider my application. Heck, even minimum wage jobs in Odaiba were beyond my reach. So I did the only thing I could. I moved.

New year. New town. New chances at redemption. Atleast that's what I hoped for.

Unfortunately, a highschool diploma doesn't open too many doors in Japan. I was thankful when I got hired to work construction. Masaka is a sleepy little town. Not too many people recognized my face, and I tried to keep it that way. I lived like a recluse in a dingy little studio above a little corner store, ten minutes outside of town by bicycle. I called my parents once a month. I avoided new friendships, a relationship was completely out of the question. I didn't even join the neighborhood soccer team, always fearful of the inevitable questions about my background.

Once in a while, I would bring home a prostitute. Mostly women, but I tried a man once. I picked a tall, athletic blond foreigner-type, someone who vaguely resembled _him_. He was expensive; cost almost a month's salary for just an hour. But I wanted to see what it would be like on the other side, to fantasize how it would've been if _I_ was the one with the power. I thought it'd bring me some closure: seeing him naked, on all fours on that grimy motel bed, his pale legs parted to show me his hole. This wasn't exactly how it was with Matt - he usually preferred to take me face to face, but seeing this prostitute's face would've destroyed the illusion of whose body I was invading. In the end though, I couldn't go through with it. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth and I walked away without even undressing.

But change is inevitable, and sometimes it can be for the better. By the time my second year in Masaka rolled around, I'd gotten to know the guys I worked with. One of them had a sister who would occasionally drop off a home-cooked lunch for the guys. She was a pretty little highschool junior whose pale face turned bright pink whenever I looked at her; pretty soon, she was coming around more and more with those lunches. We went out on a couple of dates, got to know each other. One day, she surprised me with an introduction to her high-school gym teacher. The man wanted an assistant coach for his kindergarten soccer team. It'd be for free but I didn't care – I was just so happy to be a part of a team in some way once again.

By the third year, my life was finally back to some semblance of normal. No, I'd never be a world famous soccer star. No, I'd never forget what happened to me for those two years. But I was in love with a beautiful girl, I had an honest job, and I got to teach little kids the game I loved on the side. Even my relationship with my family was improving; they visited a couple of times over the years and each time, they smiled more, stayed a little longer.

A/N: The next part is going to be predictable – anyone want to take guesses? I'll give a dime to each right answer.


	10. Chapter 10

I ran up the little garden towards Hitomi & Akira's place. Her father & brother insisted that Hitomi live at home until we got married. I guess it's fair enough. After all, she's only 21, grew up in a small town. It would be awkward for us to live together.

I was a little weirded out when my first knock went unanswered. She'd blush if I said it but I know but Hitomi usually waits by the door on the days she knows I'll be visiting and today's visit was planned. When the door finally opened on my third knock, it was Akira. I didn't understand the stony look in his cold dark eyes. I could hear two female voices in the background, one sobbing and one angry. Hitomi and her mother. Akira still hadn't said anything.

"Hey," I tried, "Is it something serious?" I never had been one to beat around the bush. It was easiest to just come out and say things out right.

"I want to kill you right now for what you did to my sister," Akira growled back. A loud wail from Hitomi punctuated his statement.

I was speechless. "… I don't understand."

"Akira!" An older man appeared behind Akira. Their dad. "Throw this scum off our property right now."

"Gladly," replied my co-worker and friend. Then before anything, he was roughly shoving me out of their yard and out onto the garden. My protests went unheard.

I trudged back to my apartment, mentally exhausted and bewildered. Things were great yesterday. Me, Akira & the other guys from work had gone out bowling for a while. I'd talked to Hitomi on the phone and she'd sounded cheerful. There was no hint of this coldness.

I didn't figure out what it was until the next day. I'd gone to the little league game to get myself out of my own head. And the coldness which Akira had shown me yesterday was amplified 10x by people I considered my friends. And then slowly, the whispers reached me and everything made sense.

The town knew. One of the soccer-moms had been snooping about me and somehow had come to find out the truth. They knew what I did to Kazu. After that, I went straight home, feeling dead inside.

I sat on my bed, totally disoriented. My mind was blank, and I laid in bed for the rest of the weekend. Monday morning, I didn't go to work. No one called to find out why. It was Monday evening by the time I was functional and thinking again. My life here was over. My life in Odaiba was over. And any place I might go to in the future, I'd always have to live in fear. There was only one option left for me.

I dialed the number that was imprinted inside my brain.

"Hello," his voice was soft; he answered on the first ring.

"Hi," I replied, knowing I sounded exhausted. I didn't follow it up with anything else and he didn't ask any other questions. After a moment, he spoke again.

"I'll send a plane to pick you up. Be ready in an hour." I hung up the phone and let myself fall on my back. I was taking the "easy" way out. I knew that – this way required no effort, led to no rejection. And I couldn't handle more rejection right now.

Did that make me a coward? Should I have tried to explain things? But how could I explain all those news paper clipping with the pictures of Kazu laying in the hospital bed, bandaged tightly with blood staining his white hospital gown? What good did it do that I had no criminal record when the articles called me 'evil monster'?

And could I go back to living with my parents? Ask them to shamelessly support me in their old age even while I was a young, strong son? Or should I move onto another town, hide away again – stop myself from forming any relationships? Try to go unnoticed so no one would talk about me?

The answer was immediate and complete. I couldn't do it again. Not after building a new life for so long only to have to it squashed out in the span of hours. I'm broken. I give up. Yamato Ishida has won.

So when Matt's butler came to my door driving some expensive limosine, I walked out of my life with just an album in my hand – Hitomi, my family, the little league team, my crew at the construction site. The memories would be all I'd take with me.

I have no idea how long the journey took – when the limo stopped in front of the small plane, I didn't ask any questions. The pilot must've mentioned sometime during our flight where we were headed but it really didn't matter. I waved away the stewardess when she asked if I wanted to change my clothes before meeting with Matt. Some indefinite amount of time later, the plane landed at another airfield, this time against the backdrop of some big city. Then I was herded into another car. The bright lights, the noisy crowds, none of it registered. I'd brought the album with me but I didn't open it once. My mind was blank – the past was gone, the future ahead looked like nothing. I briefly wondered whether he'd still want me even when I was like this. The thought of being rejected made me laugh. It would be fitting wouldn't it? Maybe I was so far gone that even he wouldn't want me.

The doorman ushered us into the fancy building and then I was directed onto the elevator. The operator kept it professional as he took me up to the pent-house. Was he wondering how a rough-neck like me came to be invited into such an upscale place? Not that I cared what he thought. After all, the world had shown me my only place in life was as Matt's whore.


	11. Chapter 11

**Epilogue – Matt's perspective**

I'm walking off the set as soon as the director calls cut. I don't mind devoting myself to my craft when it's necessary. But now, it's Friday afternoon and there is only one place in the world I want to be. A little farmhouse in the country. Tai's waiting for me out there.

I wasn't much surprised when he said he'd rather live out in the country than in the middle of the city. I guess he probably realizes that it's harder on me that he lives so far away from Tokyo now. I have to travel more to get to him and back to work on Monday; I'd rather have him living in Tokyo with me. But I bought him his farmhouse when he asked for it 'cus I knew it'd make him happy. He's always liked physical labor and he gets plenty of it tending to the land in the summer, cutting down his own firewood in the winter. He grows most of what we eat during the summer himself. Raises his own chickens and cows too. Today, he'll greet me at the door in his muddy overalls and his dirt-caked boots and it'll be the best thing I've seen this entire week.

He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that night in Tokyo when he finally came back to me. He looked so expressionless when he walked into my arms and kissed me. Of course, I didn't care much at that point about his expression. We didn't even make it into the bedroom that first time. Of course, we hardly ever make it to the bedroom even now. His expression's changed a little though – he smiles when he sees me sometimes, tells me stories about his newborn calf or how his carrots are doing. I'm not naïve enough to think that's love – but at least it's acceptance.

I guess that's about the best I can expect. But I don't know how long it's going to be enough for.

**Epilogue - Tai's perspective**

Truth be told, I'm not sure I will ever really want him; atleast not in the way he wants me. It's been so many years since this all started. So many years since he first raped me in that locker room back when we both were a couple of 16 year old kids. I've accepted that I belong to him now even though I have no dreams left to protect by hiding what he's done. My soccer career ended when the day I kicked the shit out of Kazu and Matt. I could publically declare that Yamato Ishida raped me and coerced me into this relationship – the tabloids would probably pay through the nose for such a sensational story about _the_ Yamato Ishida. But I have too much pride left to do any such thing – I am still a man.

On the other hand, I could simply walk away. I am a full-grown adult male, I don't live with my parents. I could disappear into the crowd one day, move to some place where he would never find me. He keeps me in this pretty little house, spends his weekends with me and his weekdays working on his thriving acting career. I like it a whole lot better now than the first six months when I was staying in his downtown Tokyo condo. My parents came to visit once and I had no way to explain how I could afford to live in the most expensive place they'd ever been to. It's a whole lot easier to explain how I'm living out in the country now. I know it was a sacrifice for him – it'd be a lot more convenient for him if I was living in Tokyo still. I am grateful that he considered what I wanted. But in the end, I don't need him or his millions – I could be happy teaching kids soccer, or working as a farmhand in some small remote part of the world.

But I know these are just pipe-dreams. Because I will not leave him – I can't leave him. It's been 10years since the locker room. In that time, I've come to need him; he's been the one constant through the upheavals, through the craziness. I may not love him today, probably will never love him. But I am his – and we both know it.

**A/N:** Well, I've had most of this completed for almost a year now. But I finally got it done and I have to say, this is the only way I could see this ending. I'm sorry to anyone hoping for a happy ending where they come to love each other mutually. The problem is: Matt never respected Tai enough in the beginning to try to make an effort to actually be in a relationship with him. He developed some sort of an obsession over Tai as a 16 year old, and at the time had so much clout/power that he just took what he wanted. And Tai wasn't going to be able to love Matt – the guy had raped him, effectively destroyed his chances at a soccer career (what he wanted most in life).

I might write a sequel where Tai slowly begins to accept Matt as his "husband/boyfriend/significant other". But for now, I'm happy that atleast it's somewhat complete.

So tell me what you guys think! Thanks for staying with it for so long. I hope the ending is acceptable to most of you


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